2020; A Summary
“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” -Aristotle
During a conversation with my 10-year old daughter, I asked her a question;
Me: This year is almost over. Tell me, what have you learned this year?
Me: What do you mean?
Daughter: We need to be patient. I am so bored at home. I can not meet my friends and I can not go outside but I need to be patient. It’s good I have my iPad to pass the time. This is much safer and it’s quite fun!
The talk went on and this little girl’s words made me think of how my year was and what I have learned.
2020 is tumultuous. Perhaps tumultuous is an understatement. It was chaotic and a true test of resilience and strength if truth be told. It’s not even a rollercoaster, for at least, rollercoasters go up at times. This year was a nosedive to many things: businesses, jobs and even health. Those who survived like us, are incredibly lucky. If you are reading this, you are one of us and I congratulate you.
How has the year been for you?
Except for not being able to visit my family for over 9 months and still counting, the biggest battle I’ve been is between I and myself. It was a year of self-introspection. It was a year of self-awareness. I asked myself questions. What have you been doing? For all these years, have you really spent your time wisely? It was time to look back of those times when we had the freedom to roam around and be around groups and people.
I have regrets for sure; for not being able to take advantage of those precious opportunities. Who would have thought that a handshake with someone could be dangerous, a hug from a loved one risky? Maybe if we knew it would come to this, we’d have spent our time cuddling our kids, hugging our parents, kissing our beloved, partying with friends. It felt such a long time ago!
This year also made me think of things I have always tried to forget, some thoughts I hid in the deep recesses of my mind: the what if’s. What if I did this and not that? What if I chose this and not the other? What if I went there instead of here? So many what if’s and could have been’s, but I ended up sighing. The reality is here and now, and it’s not pretty. We can only hope for better if not best to come.
Before the year ends, let’s take time to ponder. What goals do we want to achieve next year? What changes do we need? What do we want to leave behind?
For me, I would like to start 2021 with a clean slate. I would like to leave the bad memories behind, along with the emotions that come with them. If I were to fight and struggle again, I’d like to face new ones. I’d like a new set of challenges, not something carried over from here. My heart has been heavy and my shoulders laden with trials from previous years. I want to shake them and be off with another start. I probably have said it last yearend, unfortunately, I wasn’t so successful. So I need a greater resolve.
Beginnings are always scary. It is because we don’t know what lies ahead. Sometimes we look for things to blame, or excuses to use, or even someone to support us in order to move along. But before we look for anything or anyone else, I hope we find ourselves first.
Happy new year everyone! See you in 2021!